I remember when Saddam Hussein's sons were killed.
I remember when he was captured. The headline in the Everett Herald the next day was "Ace in the hole", a reference to the "most wanted" deck of cards with Hussein as the Ace of Spades.
I remember breaking apart a little at the sight of that old man we'd made a monster, at the thought of his dead children.
I remarked only yesterday to a coworker that a Black ops team and a sniper's bullett might be the best solution to getting Gaddafi out of Libya.
It's funny the way I talk when I'm not thinking about what I say.
A NATO bomb killed Gaddafi's son and three of his grandchildren today.
Tyrant, monster, murderer, he may be.
Father, Grandfather, mortal.
I want freedom for Libya. I want Gaddafi out of power and some one of the Libyan people's choosing to replace him.
But I don't want to forget the part of me that is still human enough to see him as a human. It may have been a naive high school girl who could still mourn for that old man and his dead children but I'm not willing to let go of her, completely.
O, war is an ugly thing. I understand why it's easier to think of it as just another game of cards.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Rather well said
Criticizing the media for failing to live up to its obligations to the democratic process has long been the purview of Jon Stewart and the writers at The Daily Show. They do it often and they do it well. This week, Gail Collins and Dan Rather have stepped up to join in.
It's nice to see some heavy (ish) weights joining JS & company in this.
14 people died in a suicide bombing in Morocco today and this is what CNN looks like:
I don't mean to say that caring about the Royal Wedding is bad. I have plenty of friends who are super excited about it and to an extent I think that's fine. I'm not serious all the time; I adore novels and romantic comedies and TV shows. I think there is anything wrong with loving sports or celebrities or any other "frivolous" diversion. I think it IS wrong when the news media mistakes entertainment for news for the sake of ratings. Donald Trump is a perfect example of this. There is no earthly reason why he should be considered news worthy. None.
Ok I'm not going to rant any more. Read the Collins/Rather pieces, as they are quite good.
The next time you hear about another round of layoffs at a TV news division, the closing of a bureau, the decision not to cover a foreign story with full force, remember this week of silliness in April.(Dan Rather)
It's nice to see some heavy (ish) weights joining JS & company in this.
14 people died in a suicide bombing in Morocco today and this is what CNN looks like:
I don't mean to say that caring about the Royal Wedding is bad. I have plenty of friends who are super excited about it and to an extent I think that's fine. I'm not serious all the time; I adore novels and romantic comedies and TV shows. I think there is anything wrong with loving sports or celebrities or any other "frivolous" diversion. I think it IS wrong when the news media mistakes entertainment for news for the sake of ratings. Donald Trump is a perfect example of this. There is no earthly reason why he should be considered news worthy. None.
Ok I'm not going to rant any more. Read the Collins/Rather pieces, as they are quite good.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
The problem with writing about real people
.. is the not inconceivable notion that they will read what you write. The people I write critically about are not the ones I worry about. If I'm being negative it is usually about some one who is both too important to ever care that I wrote about them and also terrible enough that I'd happily repeat much worse to their faces should I ever encounter them (Bernard Lewis, Glenn Beck, my father, etc.) These are not the people I fear. I fear the Paul Constants of the world who will (perhaps rightly) read my adoration as kinda creepy. So I should really stop writing about real people (some of you may already have noticed the absence of a previous entry about some one I know. If you think you're the first person to call me a coward you're sorely mistaken.) So if you are one of the lovely individuals I'm about to write about I'M SORRY THAT I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST DEAL WITH IT. You probably are awesome, anyway. I'm rarely wrong about these things.
So lately I've been on a "what should I do with my life after graduation" quest. I've been talking to people I admire (sometimes explicitly sometimes casually) and trying to figure out which of them (if any) I'd like to emulate. A rundown of my career options:
Law School: I've always had a sort of fascination with the law, and I have greatly enjoyed a number of law courses I've taken- International Humanitarian Law and American Indian Law (Yes, I enjoyed it even if I never went to class.) So I worked up the nerve to talk to a law student acquaintance and managed to stop being nervous for long enough to hear some of what he said. LSATS. First year they scare you to death. Second year they work you to death. Third year they bore you to death. (I hope I got that right...) Anyway, as much as I like the idea of Law School I think that I'm not cut out for the debt the not working a real job and the reading boring things for hours and hours. I might take the LSATS anyway just to keep my options open. I'll be chatting with a friend I find moderately less intimidating abou this as well, though her short response was already "For the love of God, no!"
Grad School: Today I had coffee with a PHD student at UW working on Egyptian history and politics. I appreciated his frankness, because he told me outright that Grad school is probably not the best option for me right now. We also talked about moving to Cairo, which seems like the best suggestion I've heard to date. Also, I have to say I'm really liking the frequency with which I'm finding myself in conversation with really really attractive men since I decided to take up my advisor on his suggestion I figure out my future plans a little. It's almost like dating but with less pressure to sound witty.
Writing: I'm fortunate to know a number of professional or semi-professional writers. Some are able to support themselves with writing alone, most work other jobs in the industry (publishing, bookselling, etc.) as well. While I love writing and am, for better or worse, still working on a genre fiction novel that is either going to be awesome or completely terrible and absolutely nothing in between, I don't know that I have the talent/drive to make this my career. I'm not being modest- I know I can write and sometimes can write very well- but the world is full of great writers and I don't know that I've yet found anything important enough to say to make me worth listening to.
One of my writer friends, the lovely and talented Jason Vanhee has begun self-publishing his novels for kindle and for nook. This was not a decision he made lightly. His extensive research into e-reading and self-publishing was a long process and I was lucky enough to benefit from much of the resulting knowledge. I don't know what the future of the book industry is, but I see the appeal of at least two sides- I'm a sentimental purist when it comes to books and the written word, but I'm also a blogger with a serious internet addiction. I think every one should read Jason's novels and if this approach facilitates more readers and more authorial control for him, I'm all for it. Still I'd love to have a paper and ink copy of his books to spill coffee on, dog ear the pages and crack the spines.
So if I finish my novel, if it turns out OK, if I try to have it published, I'm not sure I could forsake paper books even if it means giving up ownership as well as decreasing my own profit margins. But that is the sentimental musing of an unpublished girl on financial aid. I suspect a few years of the real world might change my mind.
Adventure: My wonderful thesis advisor has been infinitely patient with me when it comes to making actual progress on my thesis, though I suspect that will end tomorrow if I don't stop blogging and go actually write some of it. But he's also sensitive to my frustration with the lack of practicality in academia, my sense that I am helping NO ONE by writing papers and reading theory. I think that's why he sent me one of his grad students. Unlike most every other faculty member in my department, Shaun will talk to me frankly and treat me like an actual adult. I may have romanticized the notion of living abroad and of living adventurously away from home, but he is kind enough not to point this out. His suggestion that living abroad might be good for me may be intended to remove some of my illusions about such an adventure, but I appreciate that he seems to recognize the value of making some mistakes on your own terms. So back to Palestine? Or maybe Egypt? Peace Corps? or maybe ISM?
I guess we'll see. For now I have a midterm to study for an then store inventory in Tacoma. (Oh joy.) I'm not anticipating getting any sleep for at least 30 more hours, but I needed to write some of these things out of my head so that I can think about them later.
Any suggestions/advice/comments/criticism is welcome and (clearly) needed.
So lately I've been on a "what should I do with my life after graduation" quest. I've been talking to people I admire (sometimes explicitly sometimes casually) and trying to figure out which of them (if any) I'd like to emulate. A rundown of my career options:
Law School: I've always had a sort of fascination with the law, and I have greatly enjoyed a number of law courses I've taken- International Humanitarian Law and American Indian Law (Yes, I enjoyed it even if I never went to class.) So I worked up the nerve to talk to a law student acquaintance and managed to stop being nervous for long enough to hear some of what he said. LSATS. First year they scare you to death. Second year they work you to death. Third year they bore you to death. (I hope I got that right...) Anyway, as much as I like the idea of Law School I think that I'm not cut out for the debt the not working a real job and the reading boring things for hours and hours. I might take the LSATS anyway just to keep my options open. I'll be chatting with a friend I find moderately less intimidating abou this as well, though her short response was already "For the love of God, no!"
Grad School: Today I had coffee with a PHD student at UW working on Egyptian history and politics. I appreciated his frankness, because he told me outright that Grad school is probably not the best option for me right now. We also talked about moving to Cairo, which seems like the best suggestion I've heard to date. Also, I have to say I'm really liking the frequency with which I'm finding myself in conversation with really really attractive men since I decided to take up my advisor on his suggestion I figure out my future plans a little. It's almost like dating but with less pressure to sound witty.
Writing: I'm fortunate to know a number of professional or semi-professional writers. Some are able to support themselves with writing alone, most work other jobs in the industry (publishing, bookselling, etc.) as well. While I love writing and am, for better or worse, still working on a genre fiction novel that is either going to be awesome or completely terrible and absolutely nothing in between, I don't know that I have the talent/drive to make this my career. I'm not being modest- I know I can write and sometimes can write very well- but the world is full of great writers and I don't know that I've yet found anything important enough to say to make me worth listening to.
One of my writer friends, the lovely and talented Jason Vanhee has begun self-publishing his novels for kindle and for nook. This was not a decision he made lightly. His extensive research into e-reading and self-publishing was a long process and I was lucky enough to benefit from much of the resulting knowledge. I don't know what the future of the book industry is, but I see the appeal of at least two sides- I'm a sentimental purist when it comes to books and the written word, but I'm also a blogger with a serious internet addiction. I think every one should read Jason's novels and if this approach facilitates more readers and more authorial control for him, I'm all for it. Still I'd love to have a paper and ink copy of his books to spill coffee on, dog ear the pages and crack the spines.
So if I finish my novel, if it turns out OK, if I try to have it published, I'm not sure I could forsake paper books even if it means giving up ownership as well as decreasing my own profit margins. But that is the sentimental musing of an unpublished girl on financial aid. I suspect a few years of the real world might change my mind.
Adventure: My wonderful thesis advisor has been infinitely patient with me when it comes to making actual progress on my thesis, though I suspect that will end tomorrow if I don't stop blogging and go actually write some of it. But he's also sensitive to my frustration with the lack of practicality in academia, my sense that I am helping NO ONE by writing papers and reading theory. I think that's why he sent me one of his grad students. Unlike most every other faculty member in my department, Shaun will talk to me frankly and treat me like an actual adult. I may have romanticized the notion of living abroad and of living adventurously away from home, but he is kind enough not to point this out. His suggestion that living abroad might be good for me may be intended to remove some of my illusions about such an adventure, but I appreciate that he seems to recognize the value of making some mistakes on your own terms. So back to Palestine? Or maybe Egypt? Peace Corps? or maybe ISM?
I guess we'll see. For now I have a midterm to study for an then store inventory in Tacoma. (Oh joy.) I'm not anticipating getting any sleep for at least 30 more hours, but I needed to write some of these things out of my head so that I can think about them later.
Any suggestions/advice/comments/criticism is welcome and (clearly) needed.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Men in coffee shops and coups d'état
I'm sitting in Solstice watching this sneering college-age boy in a baseball jersey leer at every woman who walks by. Each time one walks by he follows her with his eyes and cranes his neck to watch her leave through the door. As he reels his head back in to return to his conversation, his eyes meet mine just for a second, as though he's checking to see if I'm still glaring at him like he's a fucking idiot. (Short answer: yes.) We've been playing this game for 28 minutes and counting.
Leer, little man, leer. It is your right. Just as it is my right to judge you for it.
I just got a text message from Chev asking if I might have time to call her. I didn't answer, I just called. The PCVs in BF are being consolidated, which is a step toward evacuation. I hope that things calm down, I know she wants to stay. I'm walking that fine line between concerned friend who wants more distance between her and the riots and fires, and the supportive friend who knows she wants to finish her work.
So I'm drinking black coffee after black coffee, glaring at baseball boy, and pretending I don't have a draft of my thesis due later today. My eye doctor gave me contacts to try and today is trial 1. My eyes do not hurt, I do not feel dizzy, I don't even notice them most of the time. But I miss my glasses. I feel uncomfortably exposed without them. Also, they hide the dark circles.
Last night I realized the only God I worship is Morpheus and he has forsaken me.
Are there offerings to be made to the God of sleep? Is there a holy book with instructions for ritual sacrifice? The Old Testament was so handy that way...
I can't sleep. I spend most of my time trying to sleep and not succeeding. Melatonin worked for a while and then it stopped working. I may just make peace with myself as an insomniac and learn to live on 3 hours a night. That might work.
OK, I can't ignore my thesis any longer. Baseball boy can keep leering unjudged. Oh Burkina Faso, please stay calm. I think every one should have freedom and no one should have to die for it. But the world has never worked that way. So I will hope, instead, that some balance of the two can be found, and soon.
Leer, little man, leer. It is your right. Just as it is my right to judge you for it.
I just got a text message from Chev asking if I might have time to call her. I didn't answer, I just called. The PCVs in BF are being consolidated, which is a step toward evacuation. I hope that things calm down, I know she wants to stay. I'm walking that fine line between concerned friend who wants more distance between her and the riots and fires, and the supportive friend who knows she wants to finish her work.
So I'm drinking black coffee after black coffee, glaring at baseball boy, and pretending I don't have a draft of my thesis due later today. My eye doctor gave me contacts to try and today is trial 1. My eyes do not hurt, I do not feel dizzy, I don't even notice them most of the time. But I miss my glasses. I feel uncomfortably exposed without them. Also, they hide the dark circles.
Last night I realized the only God I worship is Morpheus and he has forsaken me.
Are there offerings to be made to the God of sleep? Is there a holy book with instructions for ritual sacrifice? The Old Testament was so handy that way...
I can't sleep. I spend most of my time trying to sleep and not succeeding. Melatonin worked for a while and then it stopped working. I may just make peace with myself as an insomniac and learn to live on 3 hours a night. That might work.
OK, I can't ignore my thesis any longer. Baseball boy can keep leering unjudged. Oh Burkina Faso, please stay calm. I think every one should have freedom and no one should have to die for it. But the world has never worked that way. So I will hope, instead, that some balance of the two can be found, and soon.
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