I very much dislike the ease with which I ignore my inner sensible person. My inner sensible person will say things like "you've been here before, it didn't end so well. Maybe you don't want to go back?" And I will say "hush, you. I know what I'm doing."
I don't know what I am doing. I make decisions and then promptly ignore them. I make grand declarations about things I Absolutely Will Not Do and then do them.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I know a bad idea when I see one and I somehow can't help myself.
I'm going to tell myself these petty little emotions I've been having lately don't mean anything. I'm going to tell myself that trouble is not two eyes grinning, long-lashed, in my direction.
I'm not going to give in.
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