The problem with writing about real people

.. is the not inconceivable notion that they will read what you write. The people I write critically about are not the ones I worry about. If I'm being negative it is usually about some one who is both too important to ever care that I wrote about them and also terrible enough that I'd happily repeat much worse to their faces should I ever encounter them (Bernard Lewis, Glenn Beck, my father, etc.) These are not the people I fear. I fear the Paul Constants of the world who will (perhaps rightly) read my adoration as kinda creepy. So I should really stop writing about real people (some of you may already have noticed the absence of a previous entry about some one I know. If you think you're the first person to call me a coward you're sorely mistaken.) So if you are one of the lovely individuals I'm about to write about I'M SORRY THAT I THINK YOU'RE AWESOME AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY JUST DEAL WITH IT. You probably are awesome, anyway. I'm rarely wrong about these things.

So lately I've been on a "what should I do with my life after graduation" quest. I've been talking to people I admire (sometimes explicitly sometimes casually) and trying to figure out which of them (if any) I'd like to emulate. A rundown of my career options:

Law School: I've always had a sort of fascination with the law, and I have greatly enjoyed a number of law courses I've taken- International Humanitarian Law and American Indian Law (Yes, I enjoyed it even if I never went to class.) So I worked up the nerve to talk to a law student acquaintance and managed to stop being nervous for long enough to hear some of what he said. LSATS. First year they scare you to death. Second year they work you to death. Third year they bore you to death. (I hope I got that right...) Anyway, as much as I like the idea of Law School I think that I'm not cut out for the debt the not working a real job and the reading boring things for hours and hours. I might take the LSATS anyway just to keep my options open. I'll be chatting with a friend I find moderately less intimidating abou this as well, though her short response was already "For the love of God, no!"

Grad School: Today I had coffee with a PHD student at UW working on Egyptian history and politics. I appreciated his frankness, because he told me outright that Grad school is probably not the best option for me right now. We also talked about moving to Cairo, which seems like the best suggestion I've heard to date. Also, I have to say I'm really liking the frequency with which I'm finding myself in conversation with really really attractive men since I decided to take up my advisor on his suggestion I figure out my future plans a little. It's almost like dating but with less pressure to sound witty.

Writing: I'm fortunate to know a number of professional or semi-professional writers. Some are able to support themselves with writing alone, most work other jobs in the industry (publishing, bookselling, etc.) as well. While I love writing and am, for better or worse, still working on a genre fiction novel that is either going to be awesome or completely terrible and absolutely nothing in between, I don't know that I have the talent/drive to make this my career. I'm not being modest- I know I can write and sometimes can write very well- but the world is full of great writers and I don't know that I've yet found anything important enough to say to make me worth listening to.

One of my writer friends, the lovely and talented Jason Vanhee has begun self-publishing his novels for kindle and for nook. This was not a decision he made lightly. His extensive research into e-reading and self-publishing was a long process and I was lucky enough to benefit from much of the resulting knowledge. I don't know what the future of the book industry is, but I see the appeal of at least two sides- I'm a sentimental purist when it comes to books and the written word, but I'm also a blogger with a serious internet addiction. I think every one should read Jason's novels and if this approach facilitates more readers and more authorial control for him, I'm all for it. Still I'd love to have a paper and ink copy of his books to spill coffee on, dog ear the pages and crack the spines.

So if I finish my novel, if it turns out OK, if I try to have it published, I'm not sure I could forsake paper books even if it means giving up ownership as well as decreasing my own profit margins. But that is the sentimental musing of an unpublished girl on financial aid. I suspect a few years of the real world might change my mind.

Adventure: My wonderful thesis advisor has been infinitely patient with me when it comes to making actual progress on my thesis, though I suspect that will end tomorrow if I don't stop blogging and go actually write some of it. But he's also sensitive to my frustration with the lack of practicality in academia, my sense that I am helping NO ONE by writing papers and reading theory. I think that's why he sent me one of his grad students. Unlike most every other faculty member in my department, Shaun will talk to me frankly and treat me like an actual adult. I may have romanticized the notion of living abroad and of living adventurously away from home, but he is kind enough not to point this out. His suggestion that living abroad might be good for me may be intended to remove some of my illusions about such an adventure, but I appreciate that he seems to recognize the value of making some mistakes on your own terms. So back to Palestine? Or maybe Egypt? Peace Corps? or maybe ISM?

I guess we'll see. For now I have a midterm to study for an then store inventory in Tacoma. (Oh joy.) I'm not anticipating getting any sleep for at least 30 more hours, but I needed to write some of these things out of my head so that I can think about them later.

Any suggestions/advice/comments/criticism is welcome and (clearly) needed.